Figuring out who you are, and accepting yourself for who you are is the only way to have a happy, fulfilled life. It’s hard to fully love others if you can’t love yourself. Feeling better about yourself can help you feel better about everything else in your world.
I did many, many years of therapy and one of the things that stuck with me was that before I could make any positive changes, I had to figure out and really come to terms with who I was at the core of my being. Think about it, you can’t change negative behavior or thoughts if you don’t accept that they are actually there. Once you accept who you are, you can become the leader, the friend, the mother, the whatever it is that you want to be.
Ok, ready?
1. Don’t worry about making your parents proud. I know. It sounds silly. But the need to make your parents, or parental figures proud and to live up to their expectations is an obstacle standing in the way of your self-acceptance. What they want from you, and who they want you to be is a reflection of them. Learn that it has no bearing on you.
2. Love what you’re good at. Do you juggle? Sing? Master of the Rubik’s Cube? (Yeah, I’m old) No matter what your “thing” is, embrace it. Want to know what I’m good at? Singing off key at the top of my lungs during road trips. Seriously, and I say this a lot, figure it out and then write it down. Everything that you’re good at from being able to recite the alphabet backwards to being an awesome friend to heart surgery. There’s plenty of room between those things for you to fill in. Get your list together.
3. Start Learning. If there’s something that you don’t know how to do and you’ve always wanted to, learn it. There are way too many resources out there for you to be wistful about not learning French. Go for it. And if you suck at it, fine! At least you tried and you can add it to the list of things you’ve done even if you can’t put it on the What You’re Good At list.
4. Be Reasonable. This one can be hard for me. I was often told that I have unreasonable expectations of myself and this is why I know why this is so important If you are 40 and have a goal of being a prima ballerina and you have never taken a ballet lesson, this may not be reasonable. Take the lessons, have fun, let go of the expectations.
5. Forgive yourself and others. If you are holding on to grudges, this will stand in the way of accepting yourself. If you’ve been wronged, I am not saying to forget, but I do think that finding a way to forgive and move past trauma, even forgiving yourself for trauma that you may have caused others, is key to self-acceptance.
Have you ever noticed that you freely accept other people as themselves, warts and all? Now it’s time to do that for yourself. Focus on the positive accept yourself as you are. Want to learn more? https://www.retreatsatresorts.com/events/thailand-sense-of-self-retreat
There’s much talk about people having purpose. Word on the street is that you need purpose in order to be fulfilled. The big question is always, what do you want to do with your life? That’s a really big question. Do you know the answer? Have you found yourself adulting but you haven’t found your life’s true purpose yet? Are you super bummed about it? Well if it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone. You’re not a loser. In fact, it may indicate that you’ve been so busy taking care of business, kicking ass and taking names, that you just haven’t gotten around it yet. No worries, I have 8 simple steps that you can use today to help you find your life’s true purpose.
1) Stop Worrying About It
The first step is to stop worrying about not finding your purpose. That isn’t helping. Worrying won’t take you any closer to finding what your life’s true purpose is, it actually holds you back from finding it. Holding on to those negative feelings is counterproductive to finding out
2) Focus on your here and now. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Go do something that makes you happy. Get a mani/pedi, go play chess, go to a hockey game. Go do something fun.
3) Keep Track of What You Like
What do you actually LIKE doing? It’s ok if you just say watching TV or reading. What do you like to watch? What types of books do you read? Do you sketch things when you’re bored? Sing along to your favorite songs? What fills your heart with joy? Pay attention to the things that you have a genuine interest in. And write it down. Keep track of the things that you’re drawn to.
4) Dig into Your Childhood
Did you want to be an astronaut when you grew up? A firefighter? What about that interested you? What did you think was fun? Some of us will have to think a little harder than others, but really try to remember as much as you can. Write them all down and if there is anything that still tickles your fancy, make note of it.
5) Go Exploring
Try something new. How will you know that you don’t like something if you don’t try it? I can officially say that I don’t like country line dancing. Can you? If there is something that piques your interest, go do it! Check out Eventbrite and Meetup Groups. If something doesn’t work out, at least you can say that you tried. Keep trying new things until you find 3 new things that you like!
6) Find Your Own Dream
If your mom was a doctor, that doesn’t mean you have to be. If your dad was an attorney, you don’t have to love the law. If all of your friends went to nursing school, you don’t have to get over your fear of needles and plunge right in. Figure out what you want to do. Find out for yourself what you like to do.
Create your own path, your life is your journey and no one else’s. Don’t give yourself room to look back and say “what if”.
7) You Don’t Have to Make It About Work
You spend about 16 hours a day awake. For most people, they spend half of that time at work. It makes perfect sense that a lot of people want to spend that time doing something meaningful and that fits with their true purpose. But what if you spent your time at work doing something that you like to do and spent your time outside of work doing something meaningful that gave you a sense of purpose?
Many times, people feel unbalanced and out of sync because they aren’t doing anything purposeful and they spend so much time and energy trying to monetize their true purpose. How much time have you wasted trying to find meaning and purpose at work? Think about all of these steps and then think about what you can do outside of work that aligns with your true purpose.
If it is important to you to find purpose at work, think about finding it in the industry that you are in or the company that you work for. For example, I was able to find purpose in doing HR for a Veterinarian because I love animals but it would take quite a lot of work for me to own a zoo.
8) Above All, Have Patience
Your true life’s purpose isn’t going to just fall into your lap. You have to be patient. You’ll have some hits and some misses. Your perfect calling isn’t going just to hit you on the head. It’s going to take time and a fair amount of trial and error before you find what fits.
But whether you are trying to find your purpose at work or at home, finding out what makes you tick will be incredibly rewarding.
Ok, so this is really 8 and a half steps. Because my last note is to find your peeps. Figure out who will support you on this journey and see if they want to come along for the ride.
And don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do. Don’t want to start your own business? Don’t. You can be happy working in corporate America. You can go to work happy and satisfied. Want to run your own business? Go for it! Not sure what you want? Do both. Whether it is through working for yourself, working for someone else, volunteering, or creating a side hustle, you can find your life’s true purpose and add meaning to your life.
Stress is one of the challenges of a modern, busy life. The increases in heart rate and blood pressure that are part of the stress response are part of the body’s natural way to deal with danger. However, our bodies do not do a good job of separating a real threat, like a wild animal, from a perceived danger, like an angry email or missed deadline. Managers and executives deal with this kind of mental stress on a regular basis, and it can have serious effects on their health and wellbeing. Here are four techniques to deal with daily stress.
Find a Meditation Space
Meditation is another common way to deal with stress. By studying meditation, you are learning how to refocus and slow down your mind. The rapid thoughts that come with stress are allowed to pass. The more adept you become at the practice, the easier it becomes to enter that quiet, single-minded state. If you have trouble sitting still, yoga classes often combine a time of meditation with physical activity.
Breathe Deeply
The first step in dealing with stress is slowing yourself down. Although it is difficult to control your heart rate or blood pressure, you can control your breathing. When you feel stressed, take three deep breaths. With each breath, you will slow down and feel a little more in control. Try it now!
Head to the Woods
Spending time in the woods has been found to be a surprisingly effective way to deal with stress. As you walk down a woodland trail, you step away from the stressful situations. The sounds and smells of nature surround you, pulling you away from anxiety. The air is cleaner, and the world is calmer among the trees. You do not have to travel far — most areas have nature preserves and trails nearby, even in the desert here in Arizona.
Schedule a Regular Spa Visit
Visiting a spa is a great way to recharge your batteries. These facilities offer many options for stress relief including massages, hot springs, and saunas. A sauna with a wood-burning heater is a time-tested solution to help clear your mind and relax your body. As you sit in the warm room listening to the cracking and popping of burning wood in the sauna heater, you cannot help but relax. Follow that sauna with a cold dip in a pool or lake and you will be energized for your next project. For the ultimate experience, try a retreat that combines personal growth with spa time. As a business executive, you have many things on your plate. The stress that comes with making tough decisions and meeting expectations is inescapable. When you learn to slow down and step away from stress, you will be a better and more productive leader.
As anyone who has worked in human resources for a long time can tell you, the hiring game is changing and it’s only getting harder for employers and potential employees. Once upon a time, potential employees looking for work were tasked with proving their worth to potential employers. Today, top talent comes with a list of skills as well as a list of demands. Job applicants are willing to work hard for their employers, but they expect more than a paycheck in return. Here is a look at what today’s college graduates are looking for in an employer.
Flexibility
Today’s college graduates care deeply about work/life balance. Generation Z works to live rather than living to work and won’t tolerate being tied to a desk for more than 40 hours per week. Today’s college grads want you to judge their performance based on the quality of their work — not how long it takes them to do it. As long as they get the job done and do it well, they expect you to offer flexible scheduling policies so that they can tend to aspects of their life other than work when necessary. It’s all about paying for results, not hours.
Company Culture is Everything
Gone are the days when employees tolerate being micromanaged or caught up in difficult company politics. The current shortage of truly skilled workers gives top talent lots of choices in employers. Without fail, these employees express a desire to work in respectful and kind company cultures that emphasize teamwork, inclusion, innovation, and promotion from within. Gen Z college grads want an employer that is transparent, flexible and whose mission aligns with their beliefs — or in other words, they pay attention to how you’ve branded your company. Spend time on employee engagement if you want to retain your top talent.
Compensation and Benefits
Members of Generation Z want more than just a paycheck, but pay still matters. Today’s college grads don’t expect to start at the top of the pay scale, but they do have bills to pay. Many take on substantial debt in the form of student loans with the expectation that their degree will garner them better jobs and higher pay. Student debt repayment begins at graduation, often occurring at the same time when they lose their health insurance coverage under their parents’ policies. Upon graduation, Gen Zers immediately need a living wage. If you can’t provide it, the best and brightest will find an employer who can. Practical realities limit what you can offer potential employees, but focus on delivering as much as you can. If you balance your company’s benefits well, you’ll attract high-quality college grads to your job listings. Keep them happy, and many will stay and grow with you for a long time.
Not sure if your company has what it takes to attract and retain top talent? Ask The Corporate Fixer for help.
Most of us experience periods of high stress while on the job. However, the ways that you manage the anxiety will determine whether you can successfully overcome it in order to perform your best. Here are some ways to handle stress while on the job.
Exercise Your Stress Away
Exercise is well-known to reduce anxiety by producing endorphins that act as medicine for the brain. You do not need a full-fledged workout at the gym in order to get exercise. You can do it at your desk or during a brief break from your job. You can do squats at your desk or even jog in place while in your office. There are also things you can do with your legs such as raises. Of course, there is always the time-honored tradition of taking a ten-minute break to go for a walk.
Get Creative
Most employees get brief breaks in addition to their lunchtime. Those can be used to your advantage to engage in a stress-reducing activity. Creative expression disrupts negative thought processes that lead to stress and anxiety. You can write a journal or take time to enjoy your favorite beverage. Do not just stick to usual, but consider ways to indulge your personality. One recent trend for stress relief is adult coloring books. Your treatment of yourself during your time away can easily color your time back at your desk.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the recent behavior to which people are turning to reduce their anxiety. This practice involves keeping a continuous awareness of your thoughts at all moments. This also means that you are accepting of your thoughts and are focusing on the moment. When you practice mindfulness, you are feeling your thoughts at the same time that you are an observer of yourself. Techniques can involve mindful breathing or focus on one part of your body at a time. This can reduce your stress by lessening the intensity of your reaction to something that would ordinarily cause your angst. Mindfulness can be practiced at work to improve your overall well-being.
Take a Break
Time after time science has proven that taking a break from your day to day can help relieve stress. A great way to take a break and learn something at the same time is to do a retreat.
You do not have to be a hostage to the current stress of the moment while you are on the job. Instead, you can come to work armed with some strategies for how to reduce your stress by engaging in certain activities and exercises. Going on an international retreat is an awesome way to take a break.
For ways to do more with your job, and how to gain more control of your life, private coaching sessions with Sears Coaching can help!
Improving workplace efficiency should be the goal of every business owner. When employees work more efficiently, they produce more and waste less. A more streamlined use of human and material resources cuts costs and increases net income. As profits grow, the business will have the capital to acquire better resources for their employees. Ultimately, improving workplace efficiency can transform a business from mediocre to successful.
Communicate Clearly
Clear and effective communication ensures that problems are addressed immediately through the proper channels. Management is able to address employee concerns and solve the problem before it causes irreparable damage to the business. Clear communication also makes employees feel that their concerns are important and valued. Management Study Guide explains that when employees communicate well with each other, it reduces the likelihood that multiple employees will act redundantly and perform the same task. Instead, clear communication allows employees to assume complementary roles that increase total efficiency.
Streamline Processes
Contract ERP explains that instead of repeatedly passing product between departments, look at the process to determine how you can decrease product handling, which saves time, labor, and decreases product loss. Enterprise Resource Planning, or ERP software, streamlines management processes through monitoring production benchmarks, employee progress and productivity and centralizing the display of goals and administrative benchmarks. Not all ERP software is created alike. If your business operates within a specialized sector, such as healthcare or retail sales, there is ERP software specific to your type of business that you can use to organize all processes. Streamlining processes lowers the potential for errors and reduces inefficient delays that can cost you money.
Encourage Autonomy
If every employee has the tools and training to perform their tasks quickly and efficiently, then they will require less hands-on managing. Detailed, hands-on managing can lead to micromanaging and micromanaging is a waste of time that lowers employee morale. It also takes valuable time away from senior employees and top management that they could be dedicated to innovation, employee growth, and client development. Hubstaff explains that an employee with greater autonomy will feel confident and take responsibility for their performance. As they feel more invested, they will work harder to exceed their productivity goals and excel in the workplace. Workplace efficiency doesn’t happen overnight. Even once you’ve started implementing new employee management systems to broaden channels of clear communication and streamline work processes, it can take time for employees to adapt to the new system. Once they do, the business will gradually become more efficient and be able to meet its key performance indicators. Improving workplace efficiency is an investment in a business’s future.
For improving your ability to lead, let Sears Coaching help!
