Many companies are putting policies and processes in place to help with their diversity and inclusion efforts. For the most part, this is a good thing. Without deliberate effort, companies run the risk of remaining completely stagnant with no new ideas moving them forward and a workforce that looks and acts like a homogenous blog. What are the problems with that? Well, for starters, without people who can bring new and different ideas to the table organizations can’t grow and thrive. The world is changing, why isn’t your company? And don’t get me started on retention. You can hire all the diverse candidates that you want but if your company isn’t welcoming and if there isn’t diversity in your leadership team, you run the risk of having those diverse new hires turn over in droves. For me personally, it is hard to give my all to a company that makes me feel like a token hire or that doesn’t have anyone who looks like me in their C-Suite.
Some companies put different things in place to combat this. A very good friend of mine works for an organization who put a campaign in place to make sure that for every senior leadership role that opened, a diverse slate of candidates needed to be interviewed. Before the position can be filled they have to prove that they interviewed people of different genders, ethnicities, etc. When I heard about it, I thought wow, what a great idea, this initiative will definitely lead to having a more diverse leadership team. After all, they can track the numbers and see how much growth they’ve had in that area over time. Seems like the right thing to do. What could go wrong?
Turns out plenty. When a company rolls out an initiative like this and doesn’t necessarily have the buy-in from the people doing the hiring teams, the leaders and everyone in HR, it may not go well. When the company tracks the numbers, not the experience, all sorts of things can go wrong. My friend is a testament to that. They were invited to interview for a leadership role and based on the feedback that they got during the interview which was that they didn’t have enough experience for the role, they were left feeling like they were just interviewed to check the box of having a diverse slate. They aren’t the only person to have this problem. Someone else who “checks 2 boxes” as a black female, has had multiple interviews but hasn’t been promoted and she isn’t quite sure why. Another woman received feedback that the white male that was hired had more experience than her even though, based on his resume, he absolutely didn’t.
Tracking the numbers may tell you a story that isn’t true. I think that it’s time to start tracking experiences. The best-laid plans may have holes in them that you didn’t see coming. You may get the desired results, more diverse candidate slates, but at what cost? Making people feel like representatives of their gender or race instead of valued employees? My two cents, when something like this is rolled out, follow up and get real feedback on the candidate experience. As an employee going through this process, I can imagine that it would mean a lot to me to have someone reach out to me and ask about how I felt going through the interview process. Gathering this information can also help you determine the level of engagement your leaders have with the process. Doing some digging and getting feedback on the candidate experience can show you what work you may need to do to help advocate for your campaign and teach leaders in your organization the business case for diversity and inclusion.
I’m not saying that tracking numbers is a bad thing, it is important to know if you are moving the needle towards meeting your diversity goals. But you can’t just roll out a program and walk away. You have to check in, you have to have hard conversations, you have to track experiences. Your numbers may say that your initiative is a raging success but the people who are being impacted by it may have a completely different idea about how well things are going. I’m not saying that it will be easy, these may be very difficult conversations to have. You must ensure that the right people are involved or it will turn into yet another check the box activity. You need to have genuine care and concern to show genuine care and concern. A disingenuous focus group is not the way to do this. Detailed one on one conversations with candidates and hiring managers led by someone who is trained to facilitate such discussions is key. View the feedback that you receive as the gift that it is and make any necessary changes. No one wants to feel like they were the token candidate. Well, no one wants to be a token hire either, but we’ll save that for its own blog post.
Take a look at your current diversity programs, campaigns, and initiatives and ask yourself, do I know what it feels like to A-Be in the trenches and comply with these policies and programs and B-Be a diverse person on the receiving end of the policy or program? If you don’t you have some work to do. Time to start tracking experiences.
When I started my coaching program to learn how to be a coach, I was pretty sure that I already knew everything. I walked in, cocky as all get out, with my 15+ years of Human Resources experience “coaching” leaders. I could not have been more wrong. Turns out, coaching, true coaching, is completely different than feedback and has nothing to do with mentoring.
It was hard for me, I had been in Human Resources for so long, I thought for sure that I had been doing coaching all along. I’ve helped leaders with handling difficult conversations, I worked with leaders on how to help their teams work better together, I spent years and years helping leaders. But the work that I did was not coaching.
There is a lot of silence in coaching. You have to give people space to think. If you’re doing your job as a coach, you should be asking difficult questions. Questions that aren’t easy for the person that you’re coaching to answer. You aren’t giving them information, you are drawing things out of them. It seems like such a small distinction but it makes such a huge difference.
When you give someone the answers, how long do they stick? When you engage a consultant and the engagement ends, and you stumble across something that you don’t understand, you have to call the consultant back to get the answers. When you engage a coach, you can go back to the tools, exercises, and resources that the coach has equipped you with and once again draw the answers out of yourself.
How is coaching different from giving feedback or mentoring?
Why does coaching work?
It’s done in a safe space and is non-judgmental
It helps you build confidence, trust, and dependence on yourself
It creates an action plan and accountability process
According to research done by the International Coach Federation, people who have engaged a coach say that they would do it again. It can be truly transformational, I know that I was for me. As a part of my coaching training and accreditation process, I had to engage a coach and it changed my perspective greatly. I’m extremely grateful that my coach is now one of my mentors and was able to give me this advice. When a leader engages a coach, you’re not just transforming their life, you’re transforming the lives of their whole team. The team will see a difference in their leader as they develop and grow. When their leaders employ their coaching skills, their team will develop and grow, it is an exponential factor. That is why it is important to truly coach, coaching can change the world.
So, let’s get back to the original question. Why coaching? The best answer that I can give is the only answer. Because it works.
I am a part of an awesome mastermind group. But because we are not pretentious in the least, we don’t call it that. We call it the Ambition Alliance. That’s my crew. We haven’t been a team for very long but in the short time that we’ve been meeting, I have come to rely on them for insight, motivation, comfort and lots of laughter.
We meet every other week, via phone. I’m not sure that any of us are even in the same state. The only thing that we have in common, really, is that we are all entrepreneurs. We aren’t even all in the same type of business, we have a Marketing Expert, a Psychologist, a couple Coaches and a Business Consultant.
I think that the uniqueness of each individual is what makes this group so incredibly powerful. We are of different ages, ethnicities, and backgrounds. We all see things from very different perspectives. I never hang up from a chat with them without having an ah-ha moment. And how did I find this merry band of business owners? Partly due to sheer luck, partly because I live on the Struggle Bus. No, who am I trying to fool, I drive that thing!
I’m a member of several Facebook groups, probably more than I should be. I’m not active on a lot of them but I was scrolling through a group and a post stuck out to me. It was someone asking if they felt like most of the people around them weren’t 100% honest about how business is doing and are embellishing a bit. She was struggling and felt like those around her were just soaring and leaving her in the dust. Of course, I reached out immediately.
Here is what I told her. I still struggle. I work a full-time, more than 40 hour a week job. My children are out of the house but they still need my help from time to time. My son struggles with mental illness and my daughter struggles with life as a 23-year-old in a hard and harsh world. My coaching business is still growing, I’m not a 7-figure coach and I’m not sure that I ever want to be. My main goal has always been to help make significant change in corporate America so that people who grew up like me, poor, brown and struggling but eager, can navigate that world more effectively than I did. I had my son at 18. I struggled through that. I met a beautiful little girl that would become my daughter, sealing the deal with an adoption symbol tattoo, I struggled through that, too. I struggled through student loans, layoffs, late car payments and online classes at 2 a.m. to get my master’s degree. Horrible bosses, racism, classism, sexism, I struggled through it all.
And here I am today. I do well financially, I have an amazing family and friends that I am truly in awe of. I love my jobs (FT and my side hustle), but I still struggle. But through my struggles, I have polished my lens and now I see struggle for what it is. A means to an end, a motivator, a push to get you where you need to go. I embrace my struggle because without it, who knows where I’d be. I always told my son that he was my reason for getting up in the morning. I mean literally, I had to take him to school… Without him, would I be who I am today? Doubtful. My struggles paved the way for my successes.
To my Ambition Alliance, thank you. You are truly everything. And to those reading this, keep struggling! It’s ok to struggle. It’s ok to admit that you aren’t where you want to be just yet. Get mentors to help you struggle. Get friends that want to see you go far. Find internal motivation and know that the struggle is so worth it because if there is no struggle, there is no progress.
I came across a post on LinkedIn the other day from a coach that really got me thinking. It was another one of those negative, “you shouldn’t do this” posts, this one specifically about LinkedIn video. It basically said that people in jobs search who are posting videos about themselves are shooting themselves in the foot. It literally started off by saying that LinkedIn video can ruin your chances of getting a job.
Kill. That. Noise.
I am a Human Resources Professional and an Executive Coach. I have helped people land awesome jobs, get promoted into Executive level positions and completely transform their teams and in turn, entire organizations. Not to toot my own horn, but I know what I’m talking about. My advice to you, the video makers and the ones on the fence, GO FOR IT!!
Don’t have awesome lighting? Who cares.
Not sure what to say? It will come to you.
Afraid you’ll look silly? We all do.
Don’t let anyone tell you that being yourself will stop you from getting a job. That is soul crushing and 100% not true. The world is changing and digital is king. If you are smart enough and brave enough to put yourself out there in a video format, I am pretty sure that there are companies out there that can look past any imperfections and see the unique strengths that you have.
Should you hop on and post any ole rambling message? Well, probably not but no one would advise you to send out resumes with grammatical and spelling errors either. Figure out what you’re good at, determine your personal competitive advantage. Take some time to think about what your ideal job looks like. What kind of company is it? What industry is it in? Then go do your thing.
I feel like videos are another form of diversity and progressive organizations who want to thrive embrace diversity. Never listen to someone who tells you to stifle who you are. If an organization isn’t inclusive, you don’t want to work there. If they don’t value diversity, including diversity of thought, they are still in business in spite of themselves, not because they are doing the right things.
I applaud anyone who has posted a video. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there, to ask an organization to look at you as a person, not just as a random resume in a database. The amount of vulnerability that comes with that is astounding. I’m going to walk to talk. I’m not in job search but I have some ideas for videos that I can post to help those in job search and to help leaders grow and develop.
Thank you to the nay-sayer who posted the negative thou shall not on LinkedIn post. It gave me the opportunity to think about what I can do to contribute to the positivity on LinkedIn. I can learn from just about any experience, I’ve developed that mindset. My learning from this:
Just telling someone not to do something isn’t feedback and it sure as heck isn’t coaching
Keep talking about diversity, many people still don’t get it
Always challenge the status quo, it’s time for a new normal
Keep an eye out for my videos. They are coming soon!
I met someone for the first recently and went through the adult pleasantries of getting to know more about the person and she asked me, “What do you do?” I said, “HR and Coaching”. She frowned and said “HR, ugh, do you like it?” I said, without any hesitation, “I love my job.” She remarked on how rare it is that she ever hears that from someone and asked me to explain what was so great about my day to day work life that made me say not that I liked what I did but that I “full on loved my job”.
It was an interesting question and I was taken aback a little. Was I coming off like some sort of weirdo? Don’t other people enjoy what they do? I explained to her that HR and Coaching can me a myriad of things and that I am lucky enough to have a full-time HR role that allows me to focus on empowering a workforce to be innovative, creative and vocal as well as helping leaders be the best leaders that they can be. Additionally, I get to go home and do even more of that!
She was not convinced. I tried harder. I told her about the wonderful leader that I have in my full-time job who has proven that you don’t have to work in the same building, or even state, as someone to build meaningful relationships. I have been given the opportunity to do what I like, and what I feel like I do best, and that has created an amazing sense of fulfillment. I feel like my boss knows what motivates me and pushes me towards success, getting me ready new challenges, even when she has to drag me along somewhat begrudgingly at first. I went on to describe the joy that I feel when I see progress from in leaders who gain confidence in themselves and their ability to lead teams to success as a direct result of coaching.
I cautioned her that I tend to be the type of person who creates my own happiness. I could probably chat happily with a tree stump for an hour before I realized that I was basically talking to myself. If the work that I’m given isn’t fun, I get through it quickly and move on to something that is. I try not to let the bad or boring part of any role define me, or what I’m doing. That seemed to click. She asked me if the key to my happiness in my day job was having a boss that “let me be me”. I thought about it for a while and I agreed. Having a leader that recognizes who I am, as a person, and allows me to be me, is what makes the difference between I “love” and I “loathe” my job. I am so glad that I love my jobs, both of them, and I love that I can directly impact and influence the behavior of leaders so that other people get to feel the same way. I LOVE my job!
